Bob Sakamano

caption contest

Already planning for retirement George has opened up and plans to manage this Deli on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.

lyrical gangsters

Todays song lyrics come from the hit Usher song "Love in this club"

With classic lines like

It’s going down on aisle 3, I’ll bag you like some groceries
And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me

and

On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor
You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m trying go

It makes me wonder if grocery shopping and un-controllable bowel movements are the criteria to becoming a great singer?!?!

happy tuesday

Happy Tuesday everyone!

[image via kim K official website]

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"Alright Cleetus, first, we tell them about that high speed internets that we got, then we talks about the inder pool, if that doesn't get them, go for the kill, tell them about our free breakast" - Oklahoma hotel training manual.

[Thanks cP]

Got a funny picture you think is Bobworthy? Email me at pics@bobsakamano.com

wait wait wait, i call do-over

Time to crunch some numbers.

Amount Sadaam asked the US to give him to evaquate Iraq one month before the war = $1 Billion.

Estimated cost of the Iraq War = $3 Trillion.

The 2006 estimated value of Manhattan values it at just over $800 Billion.  Meaning, therefore, henceforth, hypothetically, theoretically, quite possible, maybe, kind of, woulda, shoulda, why the fuck didn't we, we could have just built one(1) Manhattan for the Sunni's,  One(1) Manhattan for the Shia's and one(1) miscellaneous Manhattan for all others.

How come no one ever asks me?

the key to a successful marriage

Want the key to a successful, long lasting and fulfilling marriage?

Click below!

15 years in the making

I am going to my first rap concert ever tonight.

If I make it through it alive you might be lucky enough to hear about it tomorrow.

If not? It's been a lot of fun.

Really, it has.

third period: math

Class,

Today's math lesson will be in addition.  Please get out your loose leaf paper and a sharpened two pencil and get ready to take notes.

Lets begin;

alcohol + tasers = ok

nudity + tasers = kinky

alcohol + nudity = great

alcohol + nudity + tasers = death

retardNation - Sisters sell Illinois shaped corn flake on Ebay for $1,350

Who says we are in a REcession?

People are buying Illinois shaped corn flakes for $1,350 on Ebay.

This whole recession thing just looks like a classic case of the wrong "RE".

America isn't in a REcession

America is REtarded.

Amazon.com sells a pack of 7-24oz boxes of Corn flakes for $32.64 (with free shipping).  This means with $1,350 they could have bought approximately 41 of these 7 packs, which amounts to 287 boxes or 6,888 ounces (430 pounds) of Corn Flakes.  I am sure within that they could have found the entire United States Earth worth of Corn Flakes.

Better yet, they could have probably accomplished that with only $600 and spent the other $750 to buy the materials necessary to kill themselves, which in the end would have benefited us all much, much, much better.

great away messages

"Playing Russian roulette, if I don't answer that means I won!"

- Bob

bobjelina jolitt

Congrats to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for donating more than 6 million dollars combined in 2006.  According to my calculation this amounts to them making about 250 million dollars more than they needed that year.

Wow, me too.  Small world.

the kids are alright

According to a new study from the American Heart Assocation, it seems to be reasonable OK for the youth of America to start using Cocaine. 

A new study by the American Heart Association warned Monday that cocaine use in young or otherwise healthy patients could sometimes cause heart attack symptoms like chest pain, shortness of breath, anxiety, palpitations, dizziness, nausea, heavy sweating and palpitations

The keyword here is "symptoms", so why stop all the fun of the coke just for a little afterwords anxiety.

...which after looking them over seem more like symptoms of wanting more cocaine and not symptoms of heart explosion.

An ex-drug user and fallen soldier Mitch Hedburg once said “I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, “Doesn’t wine give you a headache?” “Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!”, which applies perfectly here, why stop using cocaine because of what will happen afterwards?

PS.  I am not sure if the picture relates to this, however it made the first page of results on a google image search for heart exploding, so I went with it.

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There is just no more privacy in America

decisions, decisions

Getting old? Tired of life but have a few extra hours before you want to end it?

Here is something fun to do!

stick to placebos

I am sure this happens to you all the time.

You go in for a routine leg operation and wake up with a new anus.

HOW many people were involved in the operation.  No one double checks? I double check my math homework before I turn it in, I even double check my socks to make sure they match every morning.

Better yet, why not ask the patient a simple "How are we helping you today" before they put patients to sleep.

gay for a day

If I ever got raped by another man, I would probably quickly change my sexual orientation to gay. That way I am just hooking up which is a lot better than an uninvited-dick-in-my-anus.  Then after all the fun I would go back to being straight.  No harm done.

big kahuna burger

Did anyone watch Two and a Half Men tonight? What was the glowing bottle in his refrigerator? Did Charlie take Marcellus Wallaces' soul?

i must have passed through a warp zone

After seeing this on the front page of foxnews.com

It makes me wonder, what year are we in?!?! Is this normal?!?!

This just proves my theory that gay-ex-governors of New Jersey always have threesomes with their wives and drivers.

chik fil a

When cows are mad at each other, do they have beef?

Fuck the internet.

Yeah, I said it.

EPIPHANY TIME !

I just realized something.

and dry

What does a Kite say when it smokes pot?

picture of the day

design geniouses

NASA woot w0ot

Shuttle astronauts have completed a successful spacedocking today.

Oops, wrong link.

Let me try that again.

Shuttle astronauts have completed a successful spacedocking today.

office lingo defined

"Can you look at this? I need a fresh pair of eyes" = "I know I am an idiot and need someone smarter than me to look at what I am doing