Dear Facebook,
The gig is up, a piece of paper? As a gift?
Happy Birthday, Son! Here is a piece of paper!! If you look closely its wide-ruled, your favorite!!
Honestly, I am beginning to lose all confidence in Mark Zuckerburg and his dot com.
Go Fuck Yourself,
Love
~Bob
xoxoxoxoxo
PS. It's snowing outside!
Put your money where your mouth is
Isn't this retarded? Not only will I NEVER see myself dancing around with my LCD, I do not even allow anyone to get within three feet of it at the risk they could damage it. Who really cares if it is that much slimmer? It goes on the wall! Heres an idea, MAKE THEM CHEAPER!
Oh, I see, a girl comes over on a Saturday night, its not "how big is your johnson" anymore, its "how slim is your LCD" ok. got it. great.
I love Walmart, but for them to have the word "Always" as a registered trademarked, thats a bit much isn't it?
(Incase you are wondering, yes I had to pay to post it here and yes it cost over 4 figures)
I think the reason car insurance commercials are so funny is because the car insurance companies make so much money off of us that they have nothing else to do all day but to think of funny things.
Just like this website.
I am a man who loves to make assumptions, so I am going to assume that in the old days, when people were fired from their jobs, they were actually set on fire.
Actually, now that I think about it, why did we ever stop this practice? How much harder would you work if being engulfed in flames was the consequence to unfinished TPS reports?
Dunkin donuts made a big mistake when they decided to hire Mr. Mainway to do their childrens gifts this year.
potential choking + strangulation = 1 free donut
(as seen inside a Dunkin Donuts today)
Don't you usually have to number 4 after you eat McDonalds?
Is latex recycle-able?
If it is, then we should probably be recycling condoms.
The only stats I could find were here, which shows approx 300 million sold,... IN 1988!! Adjusted for inflation, while including an increase in male hornyness and the rise of slutty girls, that comes out to just over 30 billion condoms sold (and presumed used) in 2006* in the US alone!
Would people use these sloppy second branded recycled condoms?
I look at it this way, this is your chance to play your part in stopping global warming. If we don't do something now then our children won't live to see earth as we know it, full of used condoms.
*+-99% margin of error.
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