I don't mean to be racist, but, have you ever seen an Asian person cry before? I haven't.

hmmm...

Already planning for retirement George has opened up and plans to manage this Deli on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.

Todays song lyrics come from the hit Usher song "Love in this club"

With classic lines like

It’s going down on aisle 3, I’ll bag you like some groceries
And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me

and

On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor
You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m trying go

It makes me wonder if grocery shopping and un-controllable bowel movements are the criteria to becoming a great singer?!?!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

[image via kim K official website]

Chase Tatum, pro-wrestler-kind-of died of an apparent accidental drug overdose on Sunday Morning.

Then again, everyone from every profession dies eventually.  So I guess it really isn't news.

This brings the list of pro-wrestlers who have died before they are 65 up to 102 deaths.

Chase Tatum Myspace

"Alright Cleetus, first, we tell them about that high speed internets that we got, then we talks about the inder pool, if that doesn't get them, go for the kill, tell them about our free breakast" - Oklahoma hotel training manual.

[Thanks cP]

Got a funny picture you think is Bobworthy? Email me at pics@bobsakamano.com

Time to crunch some numbers.

Amount Sadaam asked the US to give him to evaquate Iraq one month before the war = $1 Billion.

Estimated cost of the Iraq War = $3 Trillion.

The 2006 estimated value of Manhattan values it at just over $800 Billion.  Meaning, therefore, henceforth, hypothetically, theoretically, quite possible, maybe, kind of, woulda, shoulda, why the fuck didn't we, we could have just built one(1) Manhattan for the Sunni's,  One(1) Manhattan for the Shia's and one(1) miscellaneous Manhattan for all others.

How come no one ever asks me?

Click below!

If you are an ugly man, then you are in luck.  According to a new study, marriages where the man is less attractive than the woman result in both people being more content.  Turns out the woman is more content where she can reproduce, and the man is happy because his kids will possess youth, health and physical attractiveness.

This is good news for men because most of us are bald, fat and hairy, to the point we have to make up for it with large salaries, nice cars and American Express cards.

If you are a woman, sorry. You do know you control the world, don't you?

If I make it through it alive you might be lucky enough to hear about it tomorrow.

If not? It's been a lot of fun.

Really, it has.

Class,

Today's math lesson will be in addition.  Please get out your loose leaf paper and a sharpened two pencil and get ready to take notes.

Lets begin;

alcohol + tasers = ok

nudity + tasers = kinky

alcohol + nudity = great

alcohol + nudity + tasers = death

Who says we are in a REcession?

People are buying Illinois shaped corn flakes for $1,350 on Ebay.

This whole recession thing just looks like a classic case of the wrong "RE".

America isn't in a REcession

America is REtarded.

Amazon.com sells a pack of 7-24oz boxes of Corn flakes for $32.64 (with free shipping).  This means with $1,350 they could have bought approximately 41 of these 7 packs, which amounts to 287 boxes or 6,888 ounces (430 pounds) of Corn Flakes.  I am sure within that they could have found the entire United States Earth worth of Corn Flakes.

Better yet, they could have probably accomplished that with only $600 and spent the other $750 to buy the materials necessary to kill themselves, which in the end would have benefited us all much, much, much better.

- Bob

Congrats to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for donating more than 6 million dollars combined in 2006.  According to my calculation this amounts to them making about 250 million dollars more than they needed that year.

Wow, me too.  Small world.

According to a new study from the American Heart Assocation, it seems to be reasonable OK for the youth of America to start using Cocaine. 

A new study by the American Heart Association warned Monday that cocaine use in young or otherwise healthy patients could sometimes cause heart attack symptoms like chest pain, shortness of breath, anxiety, palpitations, dizziness, nausea, heavy sweating and palpitations

The keyword here is "symptoms", so why stop all the fun of the coke just for a little afterwords anxiety.

...which after looking them over seem more like symptoms of wanting more cocaine and not symptoms of heart explosion.

An ex-drug user and fallen soldier Mitch Hedburg once said “I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, “Doesn’t wine give you a headache?” “Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!”, which applies perfectly here, why stop using cocaine because of what will happen afterwards?

PS.  I am not sure if the picture relates to this, however it made the first page of results on a google image search for heart exploding, so I went with it.

There is just no more privacy in America

Here is something fun to do!

Do as this guy did and build a self-terminating robot. It only takes 8 steps too.

1. get on internet
2. find instructions to self killing robot
3. go to home depot and get materials
4. create robot
5. stand in driveway
6. turn robot on
7. die
8. get on the news

Isn't it sad that some people get more done before 8am than others do all day?

disclaimer: don't kill yourself, there might be a cure for all of us soon!

You go in for a routine leg operation and wake up with a new anus.

HOW many people were involved in the operation.  No one double checks? I double check my math homework before I turn it in, I even double check my socks to make sure they match every morning.

Better yet, why not ask the patient a simple "How are we helping you today" before they put patients to sleep.

If I ever got raped by another man, I would probably quickly change my sexual orientation to gay. That way I am just hooking up which is a lot better than an uninvited-dick-in-my-anus.  Then after all the fun I would go back to being straight.  No harm done.

Did anyone watch Two and a Half Men tonight? What was the glowing bottle in his refrigerator? Did Charlie take Marcellus Wallaces' soul?

After seeing this on the front page of foxnews.com

It makes me wonder, what year are we in?!?! Is this normal?!?!

This just proves my theory that gay-ex-governors of New Jersey always have threesomes with their wives and drivers.

I don't have a spending problem.

I have an income problem.

What does a Kite say when it smokes pot?