You know what's a joke? When they say "We guarantee to beat any price or its free." What business would say "you are right, we cannot charge you one dollar less than what the competition is charging, so you can just have it for FREE!"
Anyone that falls for it is a sucka!
Why does Cingular (now AT&T? Did they sell the company back to themselves? Awkwaaaard) keep advertising their buy one phone get three free advertisement. Has anyone done this? Does anyone need four phones? I have never even seen four phones, let alone had the use for that many. I guess they want to make sure you have one for every pocket.
As I was walking to Penn Station today to catch the 4:43 train home, I saw a homeless guy dip into a trash can, pick out a McDonalds cup, and take a drink from it (using the straw, I might add).
Then it dawned on me, if America is so obsessed with watching middle class Americans do whatever it takes to get decent money, why hasn't Fox come out with a show that has homeless people doing whatever it takes to get virtually nothing? Haven't you ever dared someone to drink trash juice? Well here is our chance to watch someone drink trash juice,... for more trash juice!
You may have seen this before, there is a crime, and they offer a reward leading to the arrest of the criminal. They even say you can remain anonymous.
Which is why I am proud to announce that tomorrow I am going to become a detective, and right before I am about to solve a crime I am going to call the police and give them the information on that crime. Of course, they will call me back with that same information (as if I didn't know already,..."Oh, where is the killer? Wow, I would never have guessed!" and I will make the arrest.
So in the end, I will do my job in catching the criminal, and earn an anonymous tax-free commission while doing it. What a country!
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