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    the key to a successful marriage

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    crazy mofo

    Let me get this right...

    An attorney, a defense attorney, was found naked in a COURTHOUSE, with an underaged girl?

    I'd like to make a motion to overule and retry every case he has ever participated in on the basis of retardation.

    must be a deep sleeper

    Yeah, your wife can give you a headache from time to time.

    But I think I would notice when that headache was caused by a gunshot she fired into the back of my head.

    imagine that

    Do you ever get in a fight with your girlfriend and just wish you could hit Ctrl + Alt + Del so you can start her all over again?

    question of the millenium

    You love her.

    You met in the library your junior year and it was love at first sight.  You spent every second you could after that together.  After you both graduate, you get married, you even have kids - twins, one boy, one girl.

    On your way home from work one day, you get killed in a car accident.

    Now you are in heaven.

    She weeps, she is sad, years pass - she remarries.

    You are in heaven.

    More time passes, she has children with her new husband.

    You are in heaven.

    More time passes, her children eventually have children, she gets older.

    One day on her way home, she and her husband get killed in a car accident.

    You are in heaven, you get a telegram from the almighty that your wife is finally coming to see you.  You take a hybrid cab to the gate, only to see her with this new husband.

    Question: Who gets her?

    palpitation worthy

    Inlaw

    Seeing a car that looks like a cop when you are speeding is like seeing someone that looks like your mother in law when you are on a date with not your wife.

    gaysia

    By misusing the time-honored tradition of abortion, China has set itself up for a sausagefest of epic proportions. In 15 years, China will have an estimated 30 million person surplus of "marriage age" men. Party foul!!!

    Love,

    Pigman

    the best pick up line ever

    True story - 20 minutes ago.

    I was walking into Best Buy, and as I was walking in two girls were walking in and this guy walks by and says "would you like to make your mouth a sperm bank?" to the girls. (I think, he may have been saying it to me?!?!?)

    What is the best pick up line you all have ever heard?

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